How to Support Someone Who Is Grieving

Nobody should have to face grief or trauma alone. When you have been through a life-changing incident, or witnessed something you could not have imagined, it can leave you feeling vulnerable, overwhelmed and lost.

It’s not just our frontline crew who look out for the community at Christmas. Our Aftercare team know that December can be a difficult month for those who’ve lost a loved one, or former patients dealing with life-changing injuries.

That’s why we always check in with bereaved families and anyone we think could use a bit of extra support this month. As you read this, our team are hitting the phones, reaching out to see how we can bring care beyond the scene.

If you’re able to donate to Thames Valley Air Ambulance this Christmas, your generosity will mean families throughout our region have someone to turn to when the worst happens.

We know many of you might be trying to support friends, family or colleagues at this time of year, but you might be unsure what to say. So, we’ve pulled together our tips on how to show someone you’re thinking of them this Christmas.

1. Acknowledge what has happened. Rather than glossing over someone’s loss, reach out to a bereaved person and let them know you are there for them. Don’t be afraid to mention the elephant in the room.
   
2. You don’t need to fix the problem. Nothing you can say is going to make someone’s pain magically disappear. So don’t try to do that. Your friend doesn’t need you to find solutions. They just need you to be there.
   
3. Listening is key. Avoid interrupting and try to really tune in to what they’re saying. Active listening techniques such as acknowledging what they’ve said and repeating short phrases can go a long way to making someone feel heard.
   
4. There’s no right way to grieve. What worked for you might not work for someone else. Everyone copes differently, and it’s not for us to judge or to make comparisons with our own experiences.
   
5. Support them to plan for a difficult date. When we check in with people in December, we ask them if they have made plans for Christmas. Their plan might be that they want to be alone for a while, or they might prefer to be with friends. Whatever it is, it’s good to acknowledge that Christmas might be a trigger point and give some conscious thought about what might come up.
   
6. Find a way to remember that works for them. At Christmas, they might want to remember a loved one by eating their favourite food or playing a game they enjoyed. They might want to watch old home videos or share funny stories.
   
7. There’s lots of help out there. Here at Thames Valley Air Ambulance, we support patients, their loved ones, bystanders, and our crew. But there are also a range of other fantastic charities we often signpost people to. Have a look for charities like Child Bereavement UK, Cruse, and Winston’s Wish.

We hope these tips might mean you feel better equipped to show up for someone you care about this Christmas. Or maybe they help you to give yourself grace if you’re currently dealing with loss.

If you’re dealing with something difficult yourself, just know that you’re not alone. Thames Valley Air Ambulance, and your community, are right behind you.